Friday, April 29, 2005

today had college day rehearsal. ended earlier then expected.
but the thing is there is another rehearsal on the 6th of may. which happens to be sports day.
and also songfest.
bao zhu's going to kill me because we're suppose to have lunch as S16.
and then i have to rush home and come back to school again.
i dun wan to come to songfest in tpjc uniform.
oh well.
today is friday. thanks God.
going to church on sat instead because sunday we're going to kallang for kayaking.
just to prepare for sea sports carnival.
monday going out with my god-sister.
dunno when to find time to study and revise.
i'm not studying at all. and i don't understand anything. oh man.
and i miss 4.7. everything about 4.7. haiz.
shall go and nap now. good night.

p.s i loVe yoU
|2:38 AM|


Thursday, April 28, 2005

had bio test today. wrote a lot, but all crap.
wasn't even answering the question.
another test FAILED. yay.
tomorrow's friday. thank God!
but there's rehearsal tomorrow for college day.
have to stay back late again. so crappy.
but well, that's life.
i think i'm becoming a nerd. nerddy nerddy me.
can't wait for sunday.
it's church time again.
well, tata for now.
won't be updating that soon. no time.

p.s i loVe yoU
|6:38 AM|


Monday, April 25, 2005

nowadays, i seem to be slacking a lot.
although you see me awake during lecture, my mind is somewhere else.
if not, i don't understand what the lecturer is talking and my brain just decides to switch off.
i'm doing tutorial, but i don't exactly know what i'm doing. every two questions, i don't know how to do one.
having science spa assessment soon, yet, i'm not prepared. and the thing is, i'm not scared or worried at all.
gonna have some class and faculty tests soon, yet i'm not revising. and still having the time to watch tv.
what's becoming of me??
i think i need the 4.7 environment to make me study.
i think tp is too slack. but then again, as slow as tp syllabus can go, i still don't get a thing.
imagine what will happen if i'm in another school.
oh man, i need help. i desperately need help.
it seems like i'm the only one who doesn't understand anything.
everbody in my class seems forever ready to spurt out answers for the teacher and argue with the teacher whenever she makes just a slight mistake.
i feel so stupid in S01. maybe i shouldn't have taken triple science then.
everything may turn out just fine.
maybe that step was a big mistake.
how??? everything is so wrong.

p.s i loVe yoU
|3:47 AM|


Wednesday, April 20, 2005

i don't really care about my relatives now. because they don't really care about me anyway.
sorry for making my blog look like some complain session, but i really can't stand some stuff and this is the best place for letting out steam.
sometimes people can be so irritating.
they think that they are always right and refuse to except people's opinions.
they talk so highly about themselves, without realising that it's actually no big deal.
they lie about things which doesn't even really bother people much, just to make themselves feel happier and smarter.
they say things which hurt people's feelings, and they don't try to mend the friendship back at all.
they think all about themselves, instead of being selfless like what friends are suppose to be.
they argue at everything you say, regardless of whether they are making sense or not.
they try to act as if they are very smart, but what they don't realise that it makes them seem arrogant.
why do people of this kind appear in this world?
i know that i'm not very perfect and i do protray this image sometimes, but isn't carrying yourself like that all the time tiring?
isn't arguing with your friends tiring?
isn't being always correct tiring?
isn't hurting people's feelings tiring?
why don't they look around and try understanding how their friends feel?
why can't they accept that they are wrong sometimes and it's good to accept people's opinion at times?
why are people like that?
why? i don't think these questions can ever be answer.

p.s i loVe yoU
|3:30 AM|


Friday, April 15, 2005

having relatives can be so irritating.
sometimes, it's a miracle that i've been putting up with them for 17 years.
they just seem so intolerable.
trying to act like social elites when they obviously can't even squeeze through the back door to social status.
they are so uncouth, rude, uncilivised, crude, foul-mouth. basically, just horrendous.
i really admire my parents for putting up with them for almost twenty years.
and my grandmother. such a hypocrite.
it's a miracle that God allowed her to live to such ripe old age.
she's still in ICU, i think.
i don't really care because she doesn't really derserve it. basically, all i can say is that she isn't a good mother and a good grandmother.
argh!! why are there so much nonsense in this world???

p.s i loVe yoU
|6:36 AM|


Tuesday, April 12, 2005

i'm falling. and falling. and still falling.
it seems like i can't climb up again.
everything around me seems to be so fake.
my parents laughing and talking to each other seems fake.
my friendship with my new classmates seems fake too. we don't really like know each other well to talk personal stuff.
sometimes, i wonder if i'm fake too. towards people, towards my family.
and my grandmother is still dying, btw. (not that i really care. it seems like my relationship with her is fake too.)

fake fake me.

p.s i loVe yoU
|5:01 AM|


Saturday, April 09, 2005

couldn't help but feel lonely nowadays. it seems like ever since i left sac, i've not had someone to talk to.
steph is away in san fransico. i can't talk to her because of the stupid time lag. so whenever i'm online, she's not.
jessie is not in the same class, and i would think that she wouldn't actually understand my situation.
carlene is also not in the same class and she has her own group of friends.
so, i've no one to talk to in school.
when i come home, my parents are screaming at each other everyday.
and i so happen to not have any siblings.
so, when i come home, i have no one to talk to as well.
basically, i just feel more lonely than ever.
there seem to be no one in this entire world that i can talk and cry to.
well, there's always God, but sometimes, he just seems to far away.
and it's really hard to get answers, because sometimes he wants me to find it out for myself.
but i really don't have the strength to search for it anymore.
i'm breaking down, i really am.
and, i think my grandmother is dying.
well, that's my entry for today.
i think no one in the entire world is reading it. so it actually does not matter whether i type something or not.
but i guess it's still good to let it out.

p.s i loVe yoU
|11:49 PM|


Tuesday, April 05, 2005

today cca listing is officially out.
i'm in student council and it/ava club. seems like a lot to juggle with a four subject combination.
finally know all my teachers. haha. and they all happen to be females.
gp is my civics teacher miss lydia tan.
mt is mdm toh, my civics tutor for first three months.
maths is miss wong and i so happen to be her rep.
chem is miss jolene lee, the pretty teacher.
physics is miss eleanor chia, the strict and rich lady.
bio is mrs. gay, nothing to say about her.
and if you would have realised, i'm putting biology last because i'm starting to dread it already.
i dunno why, but the stacks of notes are driving me and my printer crazy.
didn't feel that well today.
ate the wrong food last night and couldn't sleep for the whole night because of the ache.
today i almost feel asleep during bio lab session. not that her voice was boring, it's just that i was very tired.
chinese period was fun. mr. tan took over because mdm toh was not here.
we practically laughed throughout the whole lesson. it's been quite a long time since i could really laugh for one hour twenty mins without worrying.
he's really good. wished i had him for mt.
well, gtg already. take care. tata!!

p.s i loVe yoU
|1:56 AM|


Saturday, April 02, 2005

some1's bloggin for me this time and that person's praying that this blog would not be spoilt after the person's done with it. hope everyone enjoys this. (;

Love,
Desiree

went to mjc after buying books with nadia at bras basah. then took mrt to tampines. took 3 and headed to meridian jc. 3 was making rounds after rounds. finally got to mjc and saw tp actually leading the mjcian bball team 6-2. by the end of the 1st quarter, the mjcian bballers lead 9-8.before long, the game ended with a score of 84-37, mjc won. well, it was only a friendly, and for most of the players, being in J1, it was their 1st official match played. am i (the person typing this) just comforting myself? or am i (the person typing this) being logical? am i (the person typing this) in self denial because mjc has better players then tpjc? well, the game's over anyway. hopefully our players gained some experience and noted their strength n weaknesses. improve on your strengths and minimise the weakness. after all, most team related sports are about team work n cooperation. the team that makes the least mistakes wins!! well, time to go. see ya peeps.. guess who. =))

p.s i loVe yoU
|11:06 PM|





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